‘You’re just their stepmother’: Woman Stands Up to Ex’s Wife After Finding Out She’s Been Undermining Her Parenting, the Whole Family Gets Involved

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. Parenting isn't easy. Life throws hurdles at you that you can never expect, and you have to hope for the best, while dragging along a little one, and trying to instill in them decent life values. This poses to be even more challenging due to certain circumstances. 

Children see a lot, maybe too much these days. And children aren't stupid; they know more than us sometimes, and even as you try to keep something from them, they will find out. Which brings us to the Reddit story. From the perspective of a woman whose life was torn apart after her husband had an affair, she tries to stay amicable with her husband's new wife (his former affair partner). This poses to be difficult after her ex-husband's new wife undermines her parenting, and admits to it. This results in a blow out phone call…with the whole family turning against her. Read below to find out more. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH 10 hr. ago Bloody_Jenny_Bonney AITAH For telling my kids' step mother that she is just their step mother & my kids aren't hers?
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 02
    My (50 F) 10 & 13 yr old children are at their dad's (52 M) for the summer. We divorced 10 yrs ago & he remaried almost immediately. (She was the affair). After some counseling, we co- parent pretty well, most of the time, but my ex's wife (32 F), I'll call her Becky, is just a bit much. I
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 03
    really tried to like her, but she talks a lot, is very opinionated & has a tendency to interfere with our parenting agreements. She'll cause delays in pick-up times & phone calls, by hiding their phone, she's tried to get them to refer to her as mom & last week, she took them to a theme park
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 04
    that my husband & I had already made plans & bought the tickets to take them to, when we came down, next week to visit. Their dad was unaware that she was planning it, as he was out of town, on business, that day. I was very upset, but I let it go, once my ex & I spoke about it. He
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 05
    assured it wouldn't happen again.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 06
    2 days ago, my son called to ask me some personal questions as they wanted to look up my family history on an ancestry site. I told him to wait & we would do that together, when he came home. I had signed up for a genealogy site, a few months ago, to help my mom. I signed in, today &
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 07
    found 2 family matches, in the town that my ex lives in. Becky did exactly what I asked her not to do.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 08
    We had previously discussed social media & computer access, and I was very explicit that I didn't want my kids' info out there.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 09
    When I called her, at first, she denied it, but after I pressed, she admitted that she did & didn't think it was a big deal. It is to me. 1. My wishes were completely ignored. 2. There are things in my family's past that, while I am not a part of & it can't be changed, I feel like I should have had the
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 10
    chance to prepare them for, with the nuance it deserves. (My great grandfather was not a good person.)
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 11
    I really blew up & told her that she is only their step mother. They are not HER children & she has no right to stick her nose into our affairs. I know I said some pretty vicious things, that truly escape me, but my effs were all gone.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 12
    Of course, she cried to my ex, who called me & yelled at me for upsetting Becky.I told him that I was not going to deal with her, anymore, that all communication will only be between him & me and to have the kids' stuff packed up & ready to go home, when we came next week, as they will not
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 13
    be back for a while. Our visitation schedule is very flexible, but I am the primary parent & have the final say.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 14
    My ex said that I was being stupid & over dramatic. My kids are upset that Becky is upset & are telling me that I am being unnecessarily mean. My husband is rightfully staying out of it, but has said I should let it go, as she's just too dumb to understand
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 15
    what she did. Am I being unreasonable? ***Edit for clarification 1. Yes, Becky was an affair partner. I found out about her while pregnant. Our divorce was finalized a few weeks after I had our son.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 16
    2. Ex moved 5 hours away, with Becky, when he moved out. 3. Our custody arrangement is the original agreement. I am primary & ex has visits when we mutually agree. It was written this way because my son was an infant & nursing
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 17
    & my daughter was a toddler. Long visits weren't feasible at the time. I don't think he really wanted much more as he has never asked for more.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 18
    4. When ex travels during visits, the kids usually go to his mother's home. (She's an absolute saint.) Unfortunately, she was unavailable, this time. 5. Becky's interest in my kids was pretty neutral until about 3 yrs ago.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 19
    6. The Ancestry site was the catalyst for my anger. This had been brewing for a while. Hope this answers some questions.
    via u/Bloody_Jenny_Bonney
  • 20
    soxfan10 ⚫9h ago NTA. You had some boundaries and she's not accepting them. Not to mention trying to get your kids to call her mom. Did you overreact a little? Possibly. But your ex
    via u/soxfan10
  • 21
    husband and you need to have a sit down and you need to outline these concerns. Because it's only going to get worse from here.
    via u/soxfan10
  • 22
    Fortune WhereTho... • 7h ago NTA She has been pushing for your children to call her mom. She has been putting not only your children but yourself at risk by hiding
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 23
    their phones. What would happen if there was an emergency and your children couldn't get to their phones or you couldn't reach them because you were having an emergency and she hid their phones. Calling their dad or her does
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 24
    not matter in this situation. She is creating a risk, not to mention that she is purposely causing problems between you, your ex, and your children.
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 25
    She is purposely gone against everything you've told her not to do, and she's worked her way into your kid's minds because now they feel bad that she feels. bad so they're coming at you about it the same with your ex.
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 26
    Don't give any more chances. When you guys do this pickup, let your ex know that was her last chance. If she oversteps or does something she knows she's not supposed to do with your children that your kids will not be allowed to go to
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 27
    their dad's house again. And will be returning to your home immediately. She flat out can't be trusted, and who knows what she's telling your children while they're there in her care.
    via u/Fortune WhereTho
  • 28
    RubyShines1 • 9h ago NTA she needs to learn that your kids aren't hers
    via u/RubyShines1
  • 29
    SnooWords4839 • 9h ago NTA - But hubby is kind of right. Becky is getting the sympathy, she doesn't deserve.
    via u/SnooWords4839
  • 30
    You need to tell ex, the next time Becky hides their phones, will be the last time Becky gets to see your kids. Just wait until she is either pregnant or your ex cheats on her.
    via u/SnooWords4839
  • 31
    Staceyrt •8h ago NTA and be careful as she is weaponizing her "hurt" against you. She'd be cut off from visitation if it were me. I don't deal well with manipulation like this
    via u/Staceyrt

Tags

family drama drama family feud relationships parenting lol couples love family reddit thread Reddit funny children dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article